Hi guys…..
It’s my first shot at a blog………hope all of you enjoy it.
What are emotions? Feelings that you convey to
others through one medium or another or keep buried within yourself. Don’t
worry, the following write up is not going to be as complex as the heading
sounds. The following ground rules simplified with examples can help you avoid
being uncomfortable around others and vice-versa.
PART- A {never quit on anything or anybody}
As simple as this seems, many of us don’t
practice what we preach. Giving up, these days, is as common as E.bola. Many of
us don’t realize that if one door shuts down on us one more always opens, we
just have to take up that opportunity and make the most of it. No matter how
hard the situation might be, if the job needs to be done, it’s more like a
Sophie’s choice. Quitting on something is very different from quitting on
someone. The following examples will help you to decipher exactly this:-
·
Quitting on something :
EXAMPLE 1 – The
other day, my dad got some food from outside. The delivery man came really late
and we were almost famished. The order came, and, like any other delivery, the
food was inside a plastic bag bound by a god-awful double knot. I don’t even
know how they do it but look at it through the eyes of a hungry group of people;
you’ll see that that knot is a big hindrance to the paradise that’s inside the
bag. So, at once my brother decided to open it up. And as usual as human
behavior, he gave it up after exactly 5 seconds and tore the packet open. As a
result, half the contents fell to the ground and all us went to bed partially
hunger stricken.
OBSERVATION: -
had my brother taken the help of a pair of scissors [* one-more-door-opens*theory
comes into my mind] to cut open the packet, we could have had our food with the
full delight and contentment that one gets when they eat butter naan with dal
makhani and not got to sleep hungry and wanting more.
I guess what I am
trying to convey is the faster you quit, the worse will be the consequences
that you will have to face at one point or another.
EXAMPLE 2: - What
do we exactly do in class XI? What according to everyone, is the first priority
as soon as they set foot into the senior wing? Yes, it’s the ghastly “deciding-your-stream
phase”. At this point of time, many students are decided as to what they will
take; minds made up…. all excited to start the new session [though inky kuchh
mahino mein phategi]. But this is just true for the 15% of the total school
population because the rest of the 85% per cent of the students are still in a
daze. They still haven’t come out of their 2 months holiday after class X
phase. So hyped up are they that [and seriously someone actually said this to
me] they wished they could fail Xth so that they could just to come back to
these 2 months and party like there’s no tomorrow {or in this case, no future}.
After a week or
two of deciding what we want, the school decides what we “DESERVE”. That’s of
course on the basis of how much GPA we get in our Xth. I’m sorry I’m not here
to give you all a lecture on how CCE works…… but it’s my job to give you a
pretext otherwise you won’t understand what I’m trying to say, and you’ll end
up not being able to pay any heed to this and eventually, give up on the write – up . I just don’t want
that, is all.
a) Giving up for
bad – a student took PCB with say, Phys. Ed. he decided not to take Maths as he
was never really good at it. Now, what he doesn't understand is that physics
and chemistry contains a good amount of Maths that he has to do, anyway. I’m
not saying it was stupid of him to not take Maths [because PCB with Maths is a
very tough combination….. though ideal…. but tough], what I'm saying is that it
was stupid of him to not try and understand Maths during his junior years. Had
he not given up on Maths completely, he could have done better in physics and
chemistry and avoid being amongst the bottom three of the class. What I’m
trying to say is that try and understand what you are doing and give all that
you have to achieve all that you want.
b) Giving up for
good- a student took Humanities, she got GPA 10 in class Xth she was very good
in Maths but she decided to take Humanities. It’s not like she gave up on
Maths, she decided that for her career she simply didn't need Maths or Science
and that she wanted to pay more attention on English, sociology, political
science, etc. if you look at it from one way it’s not even giving up. She tried
as much as she could during her junior years and got above 90% in Maths!!That’s
not giving up, that’s called being a winner. She has nothing to be guilty
about, and unlike the above mentioned student, she’s got no worries, no
problems and can start her senior year with the pride and happiness she
deserves. Therefore,
·
Quitting on someone : -
EXAMPLE 1: - Say
you have been friends with a person since about 10 years. Being childhood
friends, you guys are very close to each other. All of a sudden, he becomes
adrift from you, starts getting irritated at the smallest things. Slowly and
slowly he just shuts down all contact and just becomes isolated. You try to
find out what’s going on and you finally decide to meet his parents, his other
friends and his siblings. But none of them have any clue as to what is going
on. You see him tip toe out of his house in the middle of the night one day and
decide to follow him. To your surprise he enters into one of his friends’
house. You secretly try to peep in and get the shock of your life. Your best
friend, just 17 was caught by you while he was doing drugs. What do you do? Do
you run away and decide never to contact him henceforth? What do you do? Do you
inform his family and tell them to take appropriate steps? Do you decide to
beat the living daylights out of him and his friends and hand them over to the
police? Or do you wait for him to OD and eventually die?
You can’t run
away, you have to help him. As his best friend you have to show him the way
before he does some serious damage to himself. To save him from the shame that
will come upon him, you have to pull him out of the darkness and let him know
that you are there for him no matter what the situation might be. At this point
of time, beating him up or shouting at him; it will make him much more
sensitive and confused than he already is. Sorting out the problem through
simple, nonviolent conversations will help him a ton because he’s still at that
phase where he hasn’t fully overdosed himself, though he’s vulnerable to it.
EXAMPLE 2: -
let’s say that a girl starts liking this guy in her class. She’s really
conservative of her feelings and keeps them bottled up within herself. Days
pass by and it’s almost the end of the year and she’s still in complete ‘awe’
of him. She decides that she should go and convey her feelings to him. Being
really shy, she told her friend to tell him. That guy, after knowing all about
this messaged her promising that he would talk to her. The next day, the girl
goes to the class expecting to hear from him. The guy comes into the class, he
ignores her and doesn't even come near that row in which she’s sitting. She
keeps thinking that he’s actually not talking because he might be just as shy
as she is. She comes home sad, disappointed, and cranky. She doesn't feel like
eating anything and immediately goes to bed. The next day, she decides not to
go to school. That evening, her friend calls up and tells her that he told
everyone about this and made a laughing stock out of her. He also said that he
would never talk to her. Unable to believe her friend, she opens up her account
and realizes that he had blocked her from all the social sites through which
they were connected. Now, imagine that
you’re in her position and try to answer this question: -
How could the situation be handled
differently?
Instead of being
so ruthless about it, he could have talked it out with the girl. The girl instead
of hiding her feelings, felt she owed him the truth. He should have respected her
feelings and should have told her how he really felt [even if it was probably
nothing] and should have told her the reasons as to why he can’t like her or be
with her.
What I’m trying
to say is that, giving up on someone not only hurts them, it hurts you too. At
some point in your life you might repent what you did and how much it would have hurt the other person. Whether it’s your family or your friends, they
desperately need your support and trust in every way possible. Giving up on a
loved one would not be the best way to go. It’s a fact that people like these
tend to remain isolated, unhappy and guilt conscious for the rest of their
lives. Always remember…. “What goes around comes all the
way back around”.
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